Emotions again

I thought I was getting a grip on my emotions.  I thought coming to terms with what was happening would lessen it all.  I know Tuesday was incredibly hard but I really did think I had coped.  On Wednesday Noah and I went to a new Asda that's opened in town.  As it was just the 2 of us I had the basket resting on the pram.  He was soundo.  I'd purposefully gone out after his 11.30 feed.  Halfway round the shop I just happened to glance at him and he was still soundo and he looked just so content and relaxed.  And I felt like I could just burst out crying there and then in the middle of the shop.  I felt quite wretched and almost panicky.  I didn't cry I just gave myself a mental shakedown and carried on with the shopping.  When I think about it I don't think I have really cried about this much at all.  Perhaps when we get a true diagnosis I'll be able to.